New and a bit lost

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So, I hope I’m doing this right. But I’m a newbie here that identifies as a Faerykin.
I started to have a hunch as to my potential when I was around 12 or 13. I can’t exactly remember the day or time of my “awakening”. Around that time though I began to see things in nature more intuitively. I would always say that I viewed the world through the artist’s eye because of how I would appreciate the very fine details in nature that others take for granted or just don’t plain care to see. Every vein on a leaf, every speckle of shine on a rock, the character of each twig and how they bend. I felt a sense of magic and wonder in the breezy air.
Ever since I was a kid I wish I could fly through the sky, and would love staring up at the clouds letting them carry my thoughts with them. And because of my deep intuition of the earth, I do my best to care for the environment. I love fantasy and often wish I could escape from the human world to be carefree and enjoy life. Dragonflies were another indicator for me. Ever since I was little I liked dragonflies (and about two years ago I realized they were my totem animal/totem guide/spirit animal (whatever you want to call it). I’ve had various of animals that I liked growing up, but dragonflies recently came back into my life. And I read that in some folktales that dragonflies are faery steeds or that if you followed a dragonfly it would lead you to faeries. And a few times there would be dragonflies that would zip right at me or over my head. Which I found to be quite fascinating and peculiar.
When I was around 14 I realized that my shoulder blades were more sensitive than the rest of me, which only strengthened my inner intuition of my self being more than human. So I think that may have been the final switch that got turned on and discover that my spirit is of faerykind.
When I first met my boyfriend of 9 years now, I was worried that my conjecture may scare him off, make him think I’m crazy. But thankfully he wasn’t, and he even accepted that part of me even going as far as brushing my shoulder blades in affection or whenever I feel the change in season approaching or gush about nature he would chuckle and say “That’s my faery girl.”

But now that I’ve come to terms with who I am, there are still some things I want to learn. Like, do faeries have certain elemental affinities? Though I talk about the earth and nature a lot I find that it’s water and air more specifically that I’m drawn to. And do faeries really have wings or are they more like projections of energy/aura? How would I be able to tell what mine look like? Since dragonflies have always been fascinating to me I always pictured having a set of wings like theirs.

5 thoughts on “New and a bit lost”

  1. Hello! I’ve recently come to understand that I am also a fae, and my search for more knowledge on this brought me to Otherkin. I’d love to connect, and talk! I’m a bit confused and lost too 😕

  2. (hmm, spam comment above. 😛 )

    “Like, do faeries have certain elemental affinities? Though I talk about the earth and nature a lot I find that it’s water and air more specifically that I’m drawn to.”

    Some do, others do not. It’s certainly not a requirement.

    “And do faeries really have wings or are they more like projections of energy/aura?”

    Good question! In older traditional lore of northwestern Europe, the human-shaped otherworldly peoples (fairy folk, alfar, daoine sidhe) don’t have wings (or pointed ears for that matter) – see https://lairbhan.blogspot.com/2017/12/why-do-elves-have-pointed-ears.html for some more on this, and why they may have come in through the practices of Victorian-era theater. But that said, a lot of fae otherkin seem to have them in one form or another. In the winged forms I remember they were at least partly physical but not used for flight, and by the same token they were at least partly nonphysical and more like energy projections; I’ve used the phrase “a tattoo of light on the air”. One of the folks in the SF Bay Otherkin meetup (a pixie, I think) says she thinks of wings as a metaphor for an energy shape.

    “How would I be able to tell what mine look like?”

    My not-useful answer is that I just kinda know. It’s just part of what I think of when I picture myself, the same way I know what color my hair is.

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